In either case, it’s really important you get your spouse on board. He/she needs to speak to one or more sympathetic relatives so they can figure out how make sure you are included in the present giving. And if for some reason the situation doesn’t improve, I think you have a pretty firm foundation to say (with your husband) that you’ll be making alternative plans for Christmas next year. If they’re not going to make you welcome, why should you subject yourself to their company.
Not me but my wife earned a trip to Hawaii with fellow co-workers from all over the United States for top sales. She was so excited, and I was happy for her to be rewarded for her hard work. The time came for her trip I took her to the airport said our I love yous and off she went for a week. This was before cell phones so communication was at night most of the time. She would call around 10 or 11 at night before bed. So the night before her return no calls from her. No big deal last night in paradise have fun! She was returning Sunday night. Her return flight was a red-eye. I get to the airport at 11 pm. Terminals are empty flight on time, and people exiting the plane. I’m waiting not too many people unloading.
Don’t see her than the steward’s exit. Next, the pilots and the cleaning crew enters the plane. I start to panic that I read the return flight papers wrong. I go home with no phone calls from her. Call the hotel in Hawaii and shes checked out earlier that day. So I call her parents and ask if they heard from her. Nope! The next day she calls very calmly I ask her WTF she tells me she was on the plane and the pilot asked if anyone would give up their seat for two tickets for their next destination. Why she did you not call me to tell me this. she cuts me off and tells me she’s leaving now, and to pick her up. Fast forward. I ask her when we’re home about why she failed to call me, and where did she stay, I told her I call the hotel, they told me you checked out.
She tells me this story she meets a couple who still had one night left at the hotel, and she could have it because they were leaving a day early. Okay, I can’t dispute it. She seemed fine was horny, and insatiable for the next week or so. Not a problem things are good. About a year later I’m cleaning out our walk-in closet to make her a shoe rack, and more shelves. Pulling out her clothes, and an envelope drops to the floor. I pick it up, and see it’s from a guy in Florida. I open it and see it’s a letter to my wife. He writes how wonderful it was that he meets her in Hawaii, and the time they spent together was great, and he will always remember her.
Also if she ever wants to leave her husband she has a place to go, and he would pay for the ticket. So now I have to fix large holes in the walls because my hammer got very upset, and showed it by beating the walls. She gets home from work, and I ask her about her trip just so I’m clear about the details. I ask her what hotel did she stay at that night? She tells me but her answer is wrong. I know because he mentions his hotel in the letter. I question her more, and she gets a serious case of amnesia and does not remember these details I’m asking her. I sit on this for about a week she asks how the closets coming along and when she can put her clothes back. So I contemplate what to do after a week goes by.
This is so important. Pay attention to your gut instincts, to that uneasy feeling that something is “off.” My first huge red flag was he had another lover during the courtship phase of our relationship. She was 22. I was 32 and he was 33. He struggled when I told him he had to choose. He said he wanted to be her friend. I noticed throughout our marriage that he looked at very young women and it really destroyed my self esteem. After being married 28 years he divorced me and guess what…his new lover is 32 and he is 64. It was never in my head after all.