I had 3 c-sections prior to moving out of state. 2 were with the same doctor. I remember her panicking during my 3rd (December 2008) and I heard, “She’s losing too much blood!” And then I must have lost consciousness. When I woke up, and saw my baby again, and my family was allowed in they said it took much longer than my others. They were worried and they were not being told anything when they asked for updates. I asked about the complications and she said it was “normal” and everything was “fine”. Fast forward to May 2013, I had moved to a different state and was having my 4th c-section.


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I was in Sainsbury’s in London waiting for the ex to come out of the mens. He came out absolutely raging! I couldn’t understand what had happened in the three minutes he’d been gone. He said (as an older man came out of the toilet ). One day he noticed the book I was reading and asked me about it. I explained it was from a series of books called “Tara Duncan”. He told me he had been looking for these books but they were not available at the library, so I offered to lend him my books, as I had the whole collection (12 books, one of my fav book series!). We became very good friends.

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Both my best friends (Chloe and Vicky) didn’t know him that much, but after I moved away to another city, somehow they met. I was really happy because I realised that him and Vicky also had a lot in common and they would be perfect together. So I started doing the matchmaker from a long distance. And it worked! They started dating and I was so happy. They dated for about 2 years. We had a group chat with Chloe and Vicky and both their boyfriends. A private Facebook group where we would share stupid pictures and funny articles we would find. When I came to visit we would all meet up.

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He told us (I was in another country at that time, so it was all via texts) that the brothers of the 2-month girl were mad at him and that’s why he couldn’t be with Vicky. That he had to step away for a bit. Then he told me that they had threatened her, taking pictures of her house to show Alex they knew where she lived. I was crazy worried for a safety, and for his safety as well. In February (so about 3 months of him telling us they were both in danger and after 3 months of Vicky and I trying to find solutions) he told us they had beaten him up and he was at the hospital with a broken arm. I cried. I considered him my best friend too. I felt horrible, not being able to help.

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Everyone was so sorry for Vicky. Me too, of course. She had been cheated on and lied to, it’s the worst thing to do in a relationship. Everyone was asking about her, about how she felt. Nobody asked me. Alex had betrayed me, too. He lied to me, too. Made me worry for him and Vicky while I was miles away. Loyalty means everything to me. He had been disloyal. I was hurt beyond words. Around April of that same year, him and Vicky had started talking again. He was still dating the other girl, but at least this time he was honest about it. Vicky didn’t want to get back to him, she just wanted closure. She asked me to talk to him too. She told me it would help her. That he wanted to talk to me too. I said no. No way.

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They did tell me that it would be a bit more complicated most likely. The more you have, the harder the scar tissue gets. The doctor described it as having to separate 2 cement blocks. He asked about prior complications and I told him what I remembered and what I was told. They tried to contact the previous doctor and she refused to speak to them. So I go for my scheduled c-section and they manage to pry their way in to deliver my baby. He calls for 3 more surgeons to help while he is delivering her and they bring her over to see me. She was small (full term, 5 lbs and 18 inches, makes sense genetically) but perfectly healthy.
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