The fact that you recently found out and Groot holding Jack Skellington shirt that he has been discrete and hasn’t pulled you into the Bro Code of covering for him while aiding and abetting and that is terrific. Hopefully, he’s been as discrete in every way because I am of the opinion that your divorce instead of disrespecting the person you are married to by lying and cheating. But then, that is my set of values. That said, were I in your shoes, I would have a serious discussion with your friend covering such issues as how you to find out and what this means for information getting around that may get to his wife.
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I would ask him why he is Groot holding Jack Skellington shirt. I would then tell him that his personal life is his business and it isn’t up to you to report back to your friend, his wife, but that in no uncertain terms is he to expect you to cover for him or lie to her. If you have been a friend of his for 30 years, and if he has been married long enough to have an affair, you must know his wife and have some sort of a friendship relationship with her. I would even feel that it would be appropriate for you to state the idea that you care about how she would feel about this.