When my husband looked at me and said “I should have stayed married to my first wife”. Denied it the next day. It didn’t matter. He had been too gorked to remember he said it but I knew he meant it from the depth’s of his soul. If there was anything positive about his prescription/illicit drug use, it was that one moment of honesty that the Lord allowed to slip out of his mouth. I married what I thought was a good man. Smart, neat, fourteen years my senior and from a well established and respected family in the community. I adored him. I thought he adored me and saw our combined love and common goals giving us a great future.
On Christmas day we came by and she outlined her neighbours good traits and compared her to me at the dinnertable. Her brother cried out her name in shock and horror. I was stunned. And my now ex was told I was at my wits end with both him and her at the end of that day. It was a few months after we lost a child in SIDS, I had gotten pregnant again too quickly and was diagnosed with chronic pelvic girdle pain since I had had problems since my first child (I was 6 weeks pregnant when it set in)and never recovered after I delivered. And she compared me to a healthy woman and how she managed her home – as far as she could tell. I was grieving and happy all at once and dreading the birth in October. Which makes me wonder if I was pregnant then or if I am not remembering the conceived date as well as I thought. Anyway – she was horrible to me then and I could never forget or forgive her for that horrible Christmas day.
Now, let me take this moment to go back and explain some things. This couple is crazy. And I don’t mean just crazy in a relationship…no, no, no, I mean they are both crazy as individuals, certifiably so. But they’re honestly really cool people who just argue all the time, and sometimes try to kill each other. When it’s not the latter, it’s actually pretty funny…. So on this day, I’d been over there all day, and they’re drinking beer all day, as they usually do, and they’d been arguing all day, as they usually do, and I’m sitting in between them in their small camper, just watching them go back and forth and keeping my eye on the clock because it’s nearing 4 p.m., which means if anything crazy is going to happen with them, it’s getting within an hour of that time. I’d already peeped out that all of their episodes had taken place after 5 p.m. I made it a point not to ever stay past 4….
I was chilling at a friend couple’s house one day, I call them that because both she and he are my friends equally, and they both were getting rowdy with their drunkeness. They began to argue over the music, he wanted the volume pumped and she wanted it down so she could hear the t.v., when she snatched the phone and messed the speaker up to the point he had to fix it when he’d been able to convince her to give him the phone back, and he plugged it back up….
Now let me interject again, because this is a known fact. She indeed did kill her ex-husband. She went to prison and served her time, and this is something that has not been hided. In fact, he and she were even friends back when the murder took place. She did in fact let him know a few hours before the murder that if she went home and her husband put his hands on her again, she in fact was going to kill him. When he tells the story, he says when he woke up the next morning, (he sleeps with the t.v. on), the first thing he heard on the news was that she was arrested for murder….
I graduated as an RN and climbed the ranks in the company. About year two of my career he decided since I was making good money, he could quit his job any time he felt slighted or a particular assignment pushed him more than he thought fair. He lost six good jobs that way over the course of three years.The doctor diagnosed depression. He was prescribed an antidepressant and seemed to do bette but he couldn’t hold a job. He said but he was struggling with “other people laying their crap on him” during the work day. “Really man? That’s a thing?” said the sarcastic witch in my head. He heard “it’s ok we’ll figure it out.” I loved him dearly. My daughter and I were beginning to see less affection and interest in our daily lives from him but I kept the faith.